Lifechanging Soft Skills and Social Skills

Dr. Gary Epler – The new way of life is to know who you are moment by moment and be your true self. This is the basis for successful soft skills and social skills.

Joan – What’s your meaning of soft skills and social skills?

Soft skills are for work. Social skills are for friends, family, and the public. Soft skills are personal characteristics and habits at work. Social skills are positive interpersonal behaviors. I have a list of 30. The first group are soft skills, the middle group are both, and the final group are social skills.

What’s your first five soft skills?

(1) Prioritize – this means completing the most important task first before going the second. (2) Self-direction at work making your own decisions and actions rather than being told what to do. (3) Influencing – this means knowing your audience and your goals, having people aligned with your solution, and sharing options allowing others to make the right choice. (4) Being engaged and being present. (5) Being prepared for discussions and meetings.

That’s a good start. What are the next five soft skills?

(6) Have a good work ethic with honesty and integrity with yourself and others. (7) Have a growth mindset. Be willing to listen to new ideas and ways of doing things. (8) Be a team player. With two or more people, one is in charge and the other follows. Be flexible when in charge; and committed and enthusiastic when following. (9) Use positive communication. This means both individuals feel better after the interaction with no destructive comments, one-ups, or put downs. (10) Listen – let people finish talking before you talk.

What are five more skills?

(11) Be your true self which gives instant trust and likeability (12) Make immediate decisions at work and at home so everyone can move forward (13) Take total responsibility. It feels good; and gives you strength and impact. Learn to take the consequences for bad outcomes. Fix them fast before they cause damage. (14) Have unwavering commitment. This is consistent reliability for your family, friends, and coworkers. (15) Have empathy – consider the other person’s situation.

What are physical attributes for these skills?

(16) Have a strong posture. (17) Have a genuine smile – delay a second, have the smile come from the heart. (18) Be in control of your physical emotions at work and in public. (19) Be adaptable to all physical and social situations. (20) Have resilience.

What’s a strong posture and why is this helpful?

Posture is important for your health and positive interaction with people. Stand tall with chin straight, eyes forward, back straight by gently squeezing your shoulder blades. Have your palms out with no clinched fists or folded arms. You look strong, confident in who you are, and open to connect with people in a friendly manner.

What’s resilience mean to you?

Resilience is quick and persistent recovery from physical fatigue and mental strain. Being resilient means increased well-being, decreased anxiety, and improves health. Resilience means being your true self, learning to change your thoughts for desired outcomes, learning to use the mind for creative solutions and helping others, having close relationships, focusing on what you can control, and expecting positive results.

What are the next five skills?

(21) Not saying something negative after saying something positive. (22) Not making others feel vulnerable or weak, and not asking personal questions. (23) Ignoring mistakes or accidents of others without a negative comment. (24) Putting others first. (25) Don’t eat out of a bag in an elevator.

Could you give an example of saying something negative after saying something positive.

It’s a habit. People don’t realize they do it. For example, saying “enjoy the party” and then “saying don’t stay out too late.” Or, after thanking someone, the person replies with “my pleasure,” which is a pleasant response leaving you feeling good, but then the person says “just doing my job.” That eliminates the good feeling immediately and leaves a negative feeling, thinking about work.

What’s an example of making people feeling weak or vulnerable?

You don’t want to make people feel bad about themselves. No need to ask personal questions. It’s using clichés, outdated sayings, or being impatient with your friends and family, or in public. For example, someone’s annoyed at you while in a grocery store line. They’re fidgeting, sighing, and telling you to “hurry up.” Another example is honking at someone trying to make a left turn – this is dangerous and could cause a serious accident.

What are the last five skills?

(26) Being kind to retail and restaurant people, looking them in the eye with a warm feeling. (27) Say “thank you” for a compliment, no added negative comments needed. (28) Use the words ‘you and yours,’ not ‘I and me.’ (29) Always tell a positive story about yourself and others. (30) Make people feel good about themselves and bring out the best in them.

Why are the words ‘you and yours’ useful?

Everyone likes to hear the word ‘you.’ A study showed that people using more ‘you and yours’ in a conversation rather than ‘I and me’ are healthier and enjoy life more. For example, “you look stunning in that outfit,” rather than “I like your outfit.” “You asked an excellent question,” rather than, “that’s a good question.

Learn soft skills and social skills for a fulfilling and enjoyable life for you and others at work and at home. Do you have any closing comments?

I have one more social skill. Say “yes” to opportunities and sharing positive experiences with close relationships.

What does this mean?

Someone approaches you and is all excited about doing something, going to a party, going on a trip, or flying in a biplane. They’re excited. Share the excitement. Don’t automatically say a harsh, “no.” This instantly takes away the excitement. In closing, soft skills like always being your true self, bringing out the best in people, and a strong posture can propel you to success. Score 100 in your soft skills and social skills for an invigorating enjoyable life for you and everyone else.