Love Yourself! Be Yourself!

Dr. Gary Epler – Know who you are moment by moment which means knowing where you’re thinking from. Think from the heart with kindness to yourself and feel good about who you are. You need to like yourself.

Joan - What do you mean, like yourself?

This is fundamental for a successful life in many ways. This gives you confidence to engage in life with new experiences and new opportunities, and you’re more resilient to setbacks and disappointments. You’ll have better close relationships with positive people and will not tolerate negative relationships. You’re not wasting time and energy with self-destructive and self-pity thoughts which frees you to be more productive and creative. Finally, when you feel good about yourself, you enjoy life by seeing the good in all things and appreciating the good things in your life.

Think from your heart with kindness to yourself, what do you mean think from your heart?

It’s one of the basic principles of the Eplerian Life Philosophy. Know where you’re thinking from. Thinking from the heart is the best alternative to negative thoughts about yourself from the head. Think from the heart with kindness to yourself. Think from the heart with giving, appreciation, and gratitude.

Why do people have so many negative thoughts about themselves?

It’s a bad habit. If people make a mistake or they’re criticized, then they automatically think they’re a bad person or a failure, and start a negative story about themselves that can last all day. They tell themselves they can’t do anything right. They’re not smart enough. They feel sorry for themselves because they’re not as good as everyone else. They try to please people and always seek praise. They worry and feel guilty. All this negative thinking is from the head.

Why is this so unhealthy?

Stress. These self-centered thoughts cause stress, and worse you can’t think from anywhere else. If you’re thinking about yourself from the stress center, then you can’t think from your heart with kindness. Self-critical thoughts are so common that people don’t realize the harm they’re doing to themselves, especially thinking this way day after day. This is chronic stress and unhealthy for you and everyone else.

Negative thoughts about yourself are harmful. How do you stop these thoughts and feel good about yourself?

Be your true authentic self and think from the heart. Accept yourself for who you are with all the good values and the flaws. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop trying to be someone else. Stop trying to please others. Eliminate self-critical thoughts. Surround yourself with positive-thinking people. Take control of your life. Think from the heart with kindness to yourself and self-compassion.

Think from your heart with kindness to yourself and others. What are additional feelings from the heart that can help you like yourself?

Other feelings from the heart include being content and grateful for what you have, and about the positive people in your life who think from the heart and only give and don’t take anything from you. Forgiving is another feeling from the heart. If this is needed, forgiving will make you feel better about yourself. Appreciation is from the heart, appreciation for positive experiences and appreciation for people who are kind to you and help you.

Are there fundamental health habits needed to feel good about yourself?

There are the basic three, eat, sleep and exercise. Follow the healthy nutrition lifestyle, which is eat the right foods (no added sugar, no added salt, and no processed foods) in the right amount at the right time and prepared in a healthy manner. Eight hours of sleep every night with six to restore brain adenosine and two hours dream sleep for kindness from the heart. One hour of exercise every day for energy.

What about social media and mobile phone use?

These can add value to your life or destroy the pleasures of being engaged in life by spending time comparing yourself to others and negative talk. People need to eliminate stage 3 cell phone dependency which means having the phone in your hand at all times during conversations, working out, or having a pleasant meal in a restaurant. This is unhealthy, rude, and takes away for enjoying life.

Do you have any other way of feeling good about yourself?

Contribute to society. Contribute by doing positive work for an organization, volunteering, or improving your community. You can’t contribute to society by thinking about yourself all day. Instead of thinking from the head by complaining, criticizing, and blam, think from the heart with kindness to people and think from the mind with creativity to help others, courage to be your authentic self, and inspiration to improve the world.

Joan – Like yourself. Feel good about yourself. You’ll enjoy life. You’ll be a better person and a better friend. Do you have any closing comments?

Dr. Gary Epler – I agree, be your authentic self and like the way you are. Think from your heart with kindness to yourself. Think from the heart with giving, gratitude, and appreciation for everything you have. Engage in life. Know what you want, where you’re going, and what you’re doing. Thrive in your uniqueness.